Destwuction is Awesome
by KJMathers
Summary: Duplo aliens. A fabled weapon. Racecars, spaceships, good guys, bad guys, and a bunch of other stuff we just don't want to mention! When an old, super cool weapon goes missing, the fate of the free world is at stake. Not five whole minutes after their battle with Pres. Business, a new adventure awaits our heroes. But so soon? Hey, no one said being a protagonist was easy.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I told my friends it was a bad idea for me to attempt the writing of LEGO Movie fanfic. I did it anyway. I have some regrets. This will be an adventure. I'm not sure if that title is going to stick.  
**

**Destwuction is Awesome**

_Prologue_

The object stood on a podium in the center of a large, vast, underground chamber. Rectangular in shape, the black object, adorned with many colorful buttons, had waited in its hold for decades.

It was an object of legend, this towering device. In the past, it had been heavily sought after by all the important people in the entire world. This black box of a relic was fought after so much that, eventually, The Man Upstairs took it from the people and hid it away in a cavern where no one would be able to claim it for their own.

For years forces would gather in an attempt to find what had been called The Most Desirable Object in the World. None were able to find it and so, eventually, they gave up and took to other methods to gain power. Some fashioned weapons out of floorboards. Others made majestic dragons or ships or whatever. But none of those even mattered. Nor do they have any importance to plot whatsoever.

What does matter to the plot is the arrival of Queen Fluffybutter, the colorful, blocky leader of the Duplonians. While the people across the universe had forgotten about The Most Desirable Object in the World, Fluffybutter had her one, large eye set on it. She had heard the legends. She knew this object, which she had named The Super Awesome Coolness Wand of Mote (SACWoM for short), was the key to having all power over pretty much everything. She knew this, because that's what she had decided. And she was the Queen of an entire kingdom. So she pretty much had a say over everything that happened anywhere.

It was three minutes after the Queen and her subjects had landed on the plot of land the people called a City that her scouting crew had texted her, with the news they had found the location of the SACWoM. So, her crew of Duplonions were beamed aboard their Party Ship just as fast as they had landed in the City. Much to the confusion of its inhabitants, and the heroes that had just saved it.

With techno music blaring, the massively annoying display of glitter and lights that the Duplonians called a ship soared over the vast ocean, over Cloud Cuckooland, over Middle Zealand, through other different worlds just to make a huge scene, before landing at the foot of the cave.

Bats flopped out of the cave, only to be met by a laser from the docked Duplonian ship. Previously mentioned bats fell into the waves of the ocean below, never to flop again.

Three Duplonians exited the ship in an overdramatic light display. The guards and the vastly more important Queen Fluffybutter stared into the cave, the lights from their Party Ship casting a gleam across their gaudily colorful visage. The large, blocky paws of the guards curled in anticipation. Fluffybutter, who was much braver and cooler than her underlings, rolled her one eye and opened her magnificent maw.

"We are fwom the Planet Du-plo and we have no fear!" her childish voice echoed into the cave.

A rousing speech from their most beautiful and gracious leader. Those left on board the Party Ship applauded her amazing wisdom as the guards in front of her, newlyinvigorated, marched forward. Or, more, see-sawed back and forth forward in odd, clumpy steps.

The cave extended in one giant, straight line, ending at a large, rocky door. A sign with the words 'Chamber of Ultimate Power' set high above the large, hardly unnoticeable keyhole directly in front of Queen Fluffybutter's face. The sight begged to question how, exactly, no one else had managed to find this much coveted chamber and its contents first.

Stupid for them, but pretty great for Fluffybutter and her subjects.

With a roaring voice, the Queen said, "Bwing me the Key of Sowento!"

One of the guards, a tall creature with a gangly and uneven neck, stepped forward. The key he held in his mouth was fairly out of place in their own world. Large and shining silver, with a large, foreboding black box and buttons at the end. They hadn't dared to press the buttons yet, for fear of what they could do.

The guard handed the large, foreboding relic to his leader, who balanced it on her nose.

"Today, we will be victowious!"

The sounds of cheering from the Party Ship outside found its way into the cave. Such beautiful, moving words from their esteemed leader.

Fluffybutter turned round to place the key into the keyhole, and immediately missed her mark. Her guards turned, awkwardly averting their one eyed gazes, so as to not embarrass their ruler.

With a growl, the Queen shoved the key near the hole, missing once more.

"Defy? Me? I. Am. QUEEN!" With each word she jabbed the relic towards the hole and missed each time. "GAH!"

A royal shout of frustration echoed through the cavern as he Queen threw the key to the floor.

The shiny relic hit the ground hard, ricocheted towards a wall, bounced off that, and shot, rather delicately, into the keyhole behind the irate ruler.

A moment of silence and awe was shared by guards and Queen alike until the booming voice of Fluffybutter filled the cave. "VICTOWIOUS!" she shouted, as though she had meant to do that all along.

The guards approached the key where it stuck out of the whole, and turned it. The moment they did, the door roared.

Fluffybutter kneaded the ground in excitement.

"Yes," she purred as the door slowly rumbled open.

"Yes!" the royal shouted as the door continued move at a slow pace.

"YES?!" she screamed, heavily impatient. As though terrified of her horrendous might, the door slid completely open in one solid motion, leaving the Queen to cackle evilly. Her guards behind her cackled as well in a monotonous, childlike tone that was almost exactly the same voice as their ruler.

"Today," Fluffybutter echoed her words from earlier, "we will be VICTOWIOUS!"

She hobbled to the podium, which towered above them, set upon a length of stairs. Without missing a beat, the Queen wiggled up the obstacle, cackling madly to herself.

"Destwuction will be nice~!" she sung. But her mood was shot the moment she reached the top of the podium. For her beloved SACWoM, the relic that would give her complete and total power and control over the entire universe, was not where it should have been. It was gone. And, in it's stead sat a small, out of place note with the words "Lol. First!" scrawled in atrocious writing.

The Duplonian Queen went on a rampage. In one leap, she cleared the stairs, landing on the back of one of her guards (who's nose fell off).

"Ah, oh nooo," said the guard, not as taken aback by the loss of said nose as he should have been.

The Queen was even less worried about her guard's nose.

Her plan. Her masterful super amazing royal plan had been foiled! And by a stupid sticky note. "Lol. First!" What did that even mean! So angered by this turn of events, she opened her massive maw and let loose a small spurt of fire.

Rethinking a plan. Rethinking her perfect plan would take at least five minutes. A precious five minutes her and her subjects just didn't have.

Destruction would have to wait for now. First she had to exact revenge. The Super Awesome Cool Wand of Mote had to be found. And she knew exactly where to start.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One:

The city was in…well, it wasn't exactly shambles per se. But it had looked better.

With words of wisdom and newfound inspiration in their minds (and the shock and confusion of the arrival and immediate dismissal of the Duplonians gone), the people had begun to rebuild their treasured city after it had been wrecked (courtesy of President Business and his micromanagers).

With the help of the Master Builders, who were exceptionally happy they could come out of hiding, the people easily rebuilt their city. Of course, it wasn't as organized as it had been to begin with. All of President Business' pristine order had diminished, and now each and every building held some sort of creative mark or distinguishing feature that wasn't exactly by the book.

Of course, President Business was heart broken. Granted, he was with the good guys now. Emmet's inspirational words had made him realize how wrong he had been. And yet, at the same time, old habits died hard, so it still hurt to see his perfect world turn to mismatched colors and instructionless weird stuff. Sure the poor guy would get over it eventually, but at the moment, he was finding it hard to hold his tongue

To be honest, it was pretty funny watching him dart about, scolding people for daring to put the pieces in the wrong place, then immediately changing his attitude to a calm, happy, encouraging one.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong, it's all wrong! How could you put that piece with that it's so weird!" he cried to Ms. Scratchenpost as she happily built. The woman glared at him, but anger turned to confusion as the ex-Lord caught himself and laughed while adding, "Er, I mean, excellent job, you...builder you. Top notch work." For good measure, the President patted her on the back.

This was really taking it out of him.

In fact it wasn't long before Emmet made him sit down and take a break.

"Its all the chaos, Emmet," Business moaned, the sides of his unibrow curving downward in confusion as he waved his hands in the air. "The colors don't match and everything's just a crazy…mishmash!" He hung his head down into his claw hands as best he could and sighed. With similar sentiments, Emmet patted the poor President on the back.

Until recently, the construction worker had lived his life by the book. If it wasn't in the instructions, you just didn't do it. For doing so was weird and unnatural.

"Its definitely gonna take some getting used to," Emmet agreed as he watched the people work.

Near Emmet's apartment, Unikitty and Benny were mashing together as many rainbow colored and retro-spacey blocks as they could find to create…possibly the ugliest house Emmet had ever seen. But, so long as it didn't end up with the same fate as the submarine, he guessed it would be fine. Gale was helping them, at least.

In fact, each Master Builder had at least one construction worker by their side. The newfound creativity was great. And the Master Bulilders were exceptionally good at, well, building stuff. Working together, however, wasn't something they were good at. And when they did work together, build things suffered not so good fates (such as the poor sub mentioned earlier).

But, they were doing better. And in such a short amount of time too!

Emmet turned his attention back to President Business as the poor man let out probably the most over exaggerated sigh he could muster. What a drama queen.

While he sighed, the poor President didn't actually say anything. His expression was somewhat solemn as he watched Metalbeard place a lovely pirate flag atop the coffee shop. Larry the Barista regarded said flag with a look of satisfaction. Looked pretty good. But no, no, no, Business couldn't help thinking. It was wrong, all wrong.

"The pirate stuff on the coffee shop," he barely realized he was moaning out loud. "It doesn't…it doesn't go there." By now he sounded less angry and concerned, and more pathetic, like this was the most devastating, heart-wrenching thing that could ever have happened to him. Emmet felt bad for the guy, but said nothing as he merely patted him on the back.

The construction worker continued to pat the distraught president on the back as Wyldstyle walked up, followed by Unikitty, who had since abandoned the colorful mishmash of rainbow and retro she had been building with Benny. It looked like a hodgepodge, an atrocious mish-mash. But, it was holding together (Gale was helping Benny make sure of that), so at least there was that.

Wyldstyle regarded Business, whos head was held in his little claw hands, before turning to Emmet. "What's wrong with him?"

Emmet opened his mouth to speak, but not before Business could respond himself.

"Years of perfection and absolute order, lost, in a matter of minutes."

"He's uh…not having an easy time getting used to things." The construction worker shrugged.

Wyldstyle eyed the president. She was still miffed with him for, well, everything. The walls, capturing the Master Builders, TAKOS Tuesday, all the other crappy stuff he'd done. Emmet though, the huge nice guy, was so ready to forgive him.

'Come on, he's a good guy, really!' Emmet had said earlier. Somewhere between the whole Lord Business fight stopping and the Duplonians coming and leaving. Business had apologized too.

'I am really sorry, for doing all those bad things.' Emmet waving him along as a little clawed hand thumbs up in the back as the president looked nervously behind him. 'And I promise to tear down the walls and allow…uh…creativity once more.' Of course, he wasn't very eloquent in his speech. And it took a lot for him to say those things. But Emmet seemed convinced, and even Batman of all people had to admit that he had sounded at least a little sincere.

Plus if Emmet, world saver of the day, was ready to believe him, well. Everyone thought it'd be best to give Business a chance. Especially since he did Un-Kragle everyone. So far Unikitty was the second most accepting of the newly reformed bad guys.

Wyldstyle rolled her eyes. She wasn't as ready to forgive him just yet. She'd let him hang around (she had a feeling he would), but he had to find a way to earn it before she gave him her trust. And she was sure that the other Master Builders were in agreement. The citizens of the city, however, didn't seem to care as much.

Attention focused back on Emmet, Wyldstyle said, "But, wow, things are getting fixed up pretty fast, huh?"

Emmet grinned. "It's awesome!" he practically sung. "Everyone's working together great and getting things done. Hard to believe some of these guys aren't construction workers. Or, y'know, Master Builders."

"Yeah, real hard to believe." Wyldstyle wasn't so sure about that one. Even the mixed creativity of some of the Master Builders was, well, to put it bluntly, pretty much everything in Bricksburg looked like a train wreck. Though, she had to admit, "Everyone looks really happy!"

"They do, don't they?" More grinning from Emmet, and Wyldstyle smiled as well.

Things got cheesy from there. Claw hand holding. And Wyldstyle said, "None of this would've been possible without you, Emmet." And she really was grateful. The Master Builders could come out of hiding now and build as they pleased and that was really great.

But the moment was wrecked before Emmet could say anything in response. The moment was obliterated and ruined to the beat of some really, really annoying techno music.

A shadow passed over the city, and everyone ceased their building as the horrendously ugly and glittery lightup show that was the Duplonians ship paused over the middle of the city. There was a silence as the people waited for the aliens to beam down into the city once more (Larry was standing guard in front of his coffee shop, so help him if they tried to wreck that place again) but the colorful and ugly aliens remained inside their battle ship.

The graceful and elegant voice of Queen Fluffybutter rang out across the city over the loudspeakers inside her ship. These aliens were proving to be less of a threat, and more really, really annoying.

"People of this city!" she shouted. Movement had completely halted. All citizens were staring at the ugly ship above them.

"Umm," Emmet said.

"We have come for the most poweful thing eva cweated!"

A pause in her words allowed for someone from the crowd to show, "Um…good for you?"

"Siwence!" Fluffybutter screamed. "I know for fact you have the most pwecious item in your hands."

Emmet gave Wyldstyle a look. "We do?"

"And no one was going to let me know about this, come on guys, you can trust me!" Business added in desperation. He wanted to be in the know too. Wyldstyle merely rolled her eyes at him.

"We don't have this 'pwecious item'," Wyldstyle called to the aliens above.

"Um…yeah! And even if we did, we wouldn't give it to you!" Emmet added. Yay, helping.

The sounds of the Duplonian Queen sneering echoed through the now colorful streets of the city. "You are full of lies! But we have ways of making you talk! Bwing me the Fire Light!" Her voice echoed away into a silence that left the citizens with a sense there was something to be desired. A cough and Fluffybutter said "THE FIRE LIGHT!" Again, nothing.

"So uh…we don't have this super special powerful thing they're talking about?" Business asked just to make sure. Wyldstyle growled. "Just asking."

Seconds ticked on and the sounds of Fluffybutter trailed off, some crashes heard at a lower volume than her regal voice, which was slightly muffled as she said, "The Fire Light. I Said the Fire Light. You told me you could take care of this." She came back, voice at full volume once more to say, "Moment please. Pwoblems with the stuff." Some pauses came in between each words. "Had some things today." "Place is a mess."

Gradually, Wyldstyle was growing more and more impatient with the Duplonians. If she could just build something to maybe move the ship off course…

But before she could look for the pieces, a blinding light filled the sky, along with the sounds of Fluffybutter chanting, "Yes! YES!"

It came in the form of a red dot on the ground, and the beam could barely be seen save the red hot blinding light from the source.

"Aw, pretty!" Emmet said in response to the light. Which, to be honest, wasn't doing much of anything. Other than being a bit of an eyesore, figuratively and literally, it just kind of sat there.

Unikitty was particularly curious about this red dot, which had landed not far from where she sat next to President Business. With her front end crouched to the ground, she slowly slunk her way closer to the dot.

Her friends protested. But Unikitty didn't listen. The dot was mesmerizing. And something inside her told her to touch it. And she did just that.

The moment her front hoof touched the red light, it jolted slightly. And she pounced at it. The beam jolted again. With each pounce it moved a bit and within a matter of a few seconds Unikitty was completely enthralled with this bouncing light.

Fluffybutter was not as happy. "Would you keep that thing still and find out what's wong with it?!"

A softer cry of "Sowwy, boss!" And the light stopped atop Unikitty's paws.

Her back end jiggled as she looked at the tiny light. "Aw it's sooo cute. This thing isn't scary at all. Come look at it you guys!" Still situated atop the little dot, she turned her head to look at the others.

The silence turned eerie, and Wyldstyle felt a chill run up her back as Unikitty looked at them. Emmet took a step forward, but she pulled him back.

"Lucy, wha-?" but she shushed him.

There was a buzzing. Was that a buzzing? She was sure it was a buzzing. A low, soft hum. Kind of nice, if she was honest but…eerie all the same.

Confused, she turned her attention to the source of the light. The Builder couldn't be sure but, was the light getting brighter? Attention turned to Unikitty, she saw the speck across her hooves was larger and, yes, brighter. Something was off.

"Unikitty, get out of there!" Wyldstyle shouted. But at the same time she did, her voice was drowned by the Duplonian Queen's as she screamed,

"FIRE IT!"

Wyldstyle was given no time to react. She darted forward to the aid of the mesmerized Unikitty, but the beam of light was too quick and it hit the princess at a blinding speed before carrying on down the street, breaking bricks and leaving the people screaming.

Wyldstyle was by Unikitty's side the moment the beam had left her path.

"Unikitty, are you alright?" she asked, frantic.

At first the princess didn't move, but eventually she shook her head.

"Right as rain!" she chirped, though her voice turned dark as she added, "They really need to learn some MANNERS!"

Wyldstyle heard her fellow Master Builder's words, but they really just moved through nonexistent eat and out the other.

"Unikitty, you-oh…" At this point, Emmet had run up to them, shouting, but his voice cut off the moment he saw the cat-unicorn hybrid who…well…was now more cat than unicorn.

"I what? What's wrong?" she cocked her head to the side slightly as she looked at Emmet, who wouldn't exactly return her gaze.

Wyldstyle shook off her shock. "We need to get out of here."

"But wait, what's wrong?" Unikitty asked, desperate to understand. But when she looked down, she understood completely. "My horn!"

The beam of light had cut straight through her horn, shattering it.

"I-I can't build anything without my horn!" Eyes brimming with tears, she sat down, but Wyldstyle pushed at her backside.

"We have to move come on." Unikitty, downcast, stood back up.

"But I can't do anything without my horn. I can't build anything." The poor Builder was in shock.

"We can't think about that now," Wyldstyle pushed. "We have to find the others, and take care of that thing." She turned to Emmet. "You think you could-."

"Build something super cool help out? You got it Lucy!" Excited to put his newfound Master Builder powers to use, Emmet rushed off towards the construction yard. All the pieces for some super cool mechas could be found there.

"Unikitty, you and I have to find the others, alright?"

Downcast, her own personal raincloud over her head, showering small blue studs across her half horned head, Unikitty sighed, "…okay."

"And me! What do you want me to do!" President Business had appeared next to them. He was smiling, but a glare from Wyldstyle was enough to put a serious look right onto his face.

"Just…come with us, I guess." The words were forced. "And don't do anything stupid. I've got my eye on you."

"You can count on me, uh…chief!" Business saluted nervously, a little overwhelmed by her scary demeanor. "Just here to help. A part of the team."

Yet another eyeroll from Wyldstyle. Emmet might trust the guy, but she was still mad at Business, and she wasn't about to let him off the hook for all the crap he'd pulled in the past so easy.

"Whatever. Let's just go," she said, and headed off towards the direction of Emmet's apartment, where Benny had last been seen. If they were going to take this thing down, it'd probably be easiest to do it in a spaceship.


End file.
